Ironically, it is managers who often cringe at criticizing, even more than the rank and file on the receiving end. They hope to be respected and liked by their teams. If they are carping or overly judgmental, they fear earning a reputation as high-handed, nit-picky or mean-spirited.
Providing genuinely constructive criticism is a fine line to tread.
The tender ego
Criticism can be constructive if the feedback is supported by concrete examples and designed to promote improvement. It is most likely to achieve positive results if it is offered in a low-key manner, with a friendly tone and body language that indicates sincere intentions. Best of all is when criticism is framed as a dialogue and the supervisor makes it clear they are willing to brainstorm alongside their team member in a joint effort to address the shortcoming.
Sadly, destructive criticism comes from the opposite direction. It is often masked behind thinly veiled negative observations. It can be especially demeaning when it is presented in public and in front of co-workers rather than in a one-on-one session behind closed doors. Is it actionable and designed to further the employee's job growth and performance? Or is it a random barb with the potential to wound the employee's self-esteem? If the latter, the impact can be brutal and the reaction counterproductive. The worker may either respond with outright hostility or simply shut down and draw in their horns.
Both manager and employee should remember that some criticism is a normal element of their relationship. It can take practice learning to convey it skillfully. The key is to use it as a bridge for teaching and development. Mentors and bosses have some personal obligation to help build and round out the people who work for them. Ideally, criticism should become routine, stripped of harsh emotional overtones. Managers should not wait months for an official performance review, as relaying comments as part of an ongoing give-and-take may dial down any tension.
What kind of sandwich do you prefer?
Managers follow a set of best practices for dispensing criticism. Unfortunately, these principles are not uniformly accepted, and some are downright controversial. For instance, it is standard to present comments with the "sandwich" method: Negative feedback is sandwiched between two compliments. The concept is that if you start by offering praise, then tuck in the complaint and end on a positive, cheerful note, your employees are more inclined to accept the comments without bristling. While some advocate sandwiching, others note that the message can come across as inauthentic or just being buried.
Another debated technique is whether to phrase your remarks in the first person — "I've noticed," "I think" or "I'm sure that." On the one hand, you can dilute the brunt by making it seem more subjective and opening the route to a two-way discussion. On the other, it takes the focus off the employee and puts too much emphasis on you.
Here are some other suggestions for delivering negative feedback:
- Don't take the employee by surprise.
- Provide prompt feedback for any incident, at least within a week.
- Don't meddle in matters outside your bailiwick.
- Get to the point; don't beat about the bush.
- Resist sugarcoating.
- Be supportive; show confidence that together you can resolve the issue.
- Be clear and spell it out — never say something vague like "Be punchier."
- Don't load on multiple complaints all at once.
Positivity feeds on itself
Constructive criticism paves the way for professional development, smoother working relationships, a safer work culture and clearer expectations. When it strikes the right note, it can increase trust and set a foundation for new thought and behavior patterns.
As a manager, you can also benefit if the discussion is a two-way street based on empathy. You might directly ask: How can I communicate better? Listen to the response.
Do add some honest praise and don't throw out the baby with the bathwater.